Rant Or Retrospect
It’s been there inside of me for years and cropped up its ugly head several times over the years. I have been conned and used by a friend (in fact I thought he was my best friend). I would say he thrown a fleece on me. The irony is, I did not even know he thrown wool for several months down the lane.
I am a positive thinking person and a great friend. I made several great friends over the years and enjoyed their friendships at a different level. But this particular friendship left me a bitter taste in my mouth.
I still feel the pain and agony.
From there on I started to suspect everyone who’s coming close to me. Back of the mind, I got one big negative feeling shadowing me and whispering in my ears ‘be careful, do you want to suffer again?’. Several times I told to myself “this not me”. I could give 100% of unconditional friendship to my new friends. A negative tone set inside my head and questioning me, “are you sure? Do you wanna hurt again?”
I feel like to vent out at some point so that finally I can reset my internal operating system and move on to open up my mental, spiritual and phycological doors to new friends and friendships. I want to build friendships by trust again.
I want to be like my old-self offering unconditional, 100% pure and 24 carats gold friendship like before.
I know you are dying to know the inside story, “The Great Fleece And a Goat”. I am coming to the point.
For the privacy sake, I don’t mention the names here.
First time I am revealing this one to the public. No one knows even my wife doesn’t know anything about it. I felt so ashamed I had not dared to discuss and spoil her operating system as well. Hope one day she ended up here on my blog and I may face the heat. I am ready for it. In fact, this is the only secret I kept from her. I feel guilty about that.
More over, the betrayal is so destructive to me, if I had shared the pain with her, she could have hated the guy with vigour and devour his family.
His wife is a good friend of her, so I kept the tsunami inside for all these years.
To save a friendship, I kept the lava inside.
Perhaps I may invite her to this post as soon as I push the publish button. What do you think? Shall I? Shall I not?
I think I save the friendship. I may not even write about my vent.
Seriously, I am not.
Who knows? One day, I might write about “The Great Fleece And A Goat”. But Not Now.
Until then keep coming as I will always open and welcoming your great friendship in the future.
Forgive Forget Forgo. Make a fresh start. Let’s give life another chance to solace with friends and friendships.
Hello my friend 👋 How are you?